Impenetrable self-obsessed wittering. Enjoy!

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September 3, 2012 by Lindsay Sharman

Opinion! Rah rah grrrrrr ha-rumph! Opinion opinion opinion! Stated with absolute unwavering certainty! Based on nothing! Grahhhhh! Yeah? Yeah!

That’s a summary of every blog post I’ve ever done. Screaming inanities into the void.

And that’s also the problem with a lot of stand-up, Lindsay unequivocably stated, jowls quivering with self-importance.

I had a gig last night where one of my opening gambits was “I’m originally from Norfolk,” with the sort of inflection that demands the audience respond in some fashion. And so a few people obediently went “woooooo.” I then parped all over this show of support by saying “but who gives a fuck, really?” which I hadn’t been planning, but slipped out quite naturally. Because, really.

“I’m originally from somewhere in the country in which I’m currently performing.”

Jesus.

Who cares? WHO CARES? It’s so arbitrary, and really, stop talking about yourself!

It was a good gig, by the way. It went well. Which makes this bizarre rant even more self-indulgent than the self-indulgence I am commenting on.

Anyway, in the absence of a strong political voice or conviction in anything, I have decided to plough onwards and build a monument to the trivial with mah comedy. Actually, I say “I have decided”, but I suspect this has been my Modus Operandi my whole adult life.

In that vein, I’ve written a new poem for one of my characters. It’s about potatoes. Keep an eye out (eh? Eh? Potatoes have eyes, don’t they? They do!) for that, the video will appear in the next week or so.

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